Good intentions

What is it they say about good intentions?

I remember clearly a discussion with one of my older colleagues earlier this month regarding my resignation. One of the reasons I cited was to get closer to family because you never know when they may be taken from you. During that conversation, he mentioned that his father was slipping away slowly and that it was no longer possible to have a full conversation with him.

Earlier this week he reiterated his support for my decision as his father had died a week or two earlier, days after our original conversation, and he hadn't had a chance to say some of the things he wanted to because they lived far apart.

I currently have my father with me in Pretoria, and it is fantastic spending time with him. I still have time with him as he is strong and fit at 73. However, in stark contrast is his older brother, my uncle, who has been bedridden for the past few weeks. He has been getting more frail for years now and I've known I should be trying to see more of him. Should have phoned him more. I saw him last on Valentines day and spoke to him last more than a week ago.

I heard tonight that it will probably be the last time... I am very sorry

This is a man who filled a huge gap in my life, which my father could not, for reason's beyond his control. He tried to teach me to take more calculated risks, to enjoy life, to have fun while I am young. When I moved away, I think I forgot about those lessons. One thing he didn't teach me, and which I think I've just begun to understand, is the importance of family.

In the last two years of his life, I will be able to count the number of times I've seen him on my one hand. It's one thing when someone is taken from you suddenly, and thank Heavens that hasn't happened to me, but when the writing is on the wall and you don't do enough...?

What is it they say about good intentions?