Friday, March 29, 2013

Good intentions

What is it they say about good intentions?

I remember clearly a discussion with one of my older colleagues earlier this month regarding my resignation. One of the reasons I cited was to get closer to family because you never know when they may be taken from you. During that conversation, he mentioned that his father was slipping away slowly and that it was no longer possible to have a full conversation with him.

Earlier this week he reiterated his support for my decision as his father had died a week or two earlier, days after our original conversation, and he hadn't had a chance to say some of the things he wanted to because they lived far apart.

I currently have my father with me in Pretoria, and it is fantastic spending time with him. I still have time with him as he is strong and fit at 73. However, in stark contrast is his older brother, my uncle, who has been bedridden for the past few weeks. He has been getting more frail for years now and I've known I should be trying to see more of him. Should have phoned him more. I saw him last on Valentines day and spoke to him last more than a week ago.

I heard tonight that it will probably be the last time... I am very sorry

This is a man who filled a huge gap in my life, which my father could not, for reason's beyond his control. He tried to teach me to take more calculated risks, to enjoy life, to have fun while I am young. When I moved away, I think I forgot about those lessons. One thing he didn't teach me, and which I think I've just begun to understand, is the importance of family.

In the last two years of his life, I will be able to count the number of times I've seen him on my one hand. It's one thing when someone is taken from you suddenly, and thank Heavens that hasn't happened to me, but when the writing is on the wall and you don't do enough...?

What is it they say about good intentions?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Time for a change

I resigned from the CSIR at the end of February without a formal job to go to, and I've been thinking about why ever since. I guess there isn't one single reason, more a number of them, and today I feel like I have enough of them to write a post. I'm not sorry I resigned, I'm mildly terrified about the consequences, but very excited about the opportunities. Lucky for me, I'm in a position to enable me to resign, I have two commitments I will honour, my girlfriend, Renalda, whom I love very much and my homeloan, which is mostly paid for by my tenants.

So why did I do it? I think that perhaps now is just the right time. There are a number of reasons why I've been considering this for some time. I guess it all started with the paradigm shift about diet. In my book, take everything you think you know about a healthy diet and throw it out the window! Low fat isn't the better option! Neither is wholegrain! Fat does not make you fat! I applied it to my life and haven't looked back, i feel wonderful, i still get astounded comments from people about how I look.

So if something as basic as what we eat is wrong, what other basic truths that we take for granted are also not right? I started reading self development books and business books. A friend pointed me towards The Four Hour series, of which I've read some of the Body and listened to all of the Work Week. He talks about lifestyle design, thats when i started to consider that perhaps a 40 hour work week (read 60 hours) was not the be all and end all of life, and that perhaps I was missing something.

Then I started thinking again about my eye and the fact that just after 30 years old I no longer have perfect eyesight, probably permanently. And that now and then I can feel my health deteriorate when things are stressing me out.

I also started thinking about family and that it is conceivable at this rate that I could count the number of times I may see my parents on two hands. Not to mention missing out on nieces and nephews growing up.

So I'm going to take some time to think about things, move closer to my folks, help my dad with all the maintenance he is now to old to complete...complete the circle 😊